These are the specific things I do to stop worrying about things I have no control over
How much time do you spend worrying about things you cannot change or influence?
I can tell you a thing or two about it.
I’ve always been a person who wanted to be liked by everybody. I couldn’t stand the feeling of being hated or judged by others. I was a people-pleaser throughout many phases in my life, and I told everyone what they wanted to hear. If I had the feeling that someone was angry at me or that I hurt someone with a (mostly totally normal and plausible) statement, I would spend hours, days, or even weeks overthinking what I could have done wrong.
It was sheer agony for me when someone sent me mixed signals and when I wasn’t sure where I stood in relationships or friendships. Instead, I clung to vague statements I’ve received from my friends, my boss, or even strangers. I spent many hours of my life worrying about what I could have done differently or how I should act in the future. Today I know, that the problem lies in our evolution.
For thousands of years, human beings didn’t have to worry about the next harvest, their properties, or how to keep up their living standards. They lived from day to day, always in search of eatable things and animals to hunt. However, throughout history, we had to change our thinking to save ourselves, our properties, and our families from dangers. We started to think more about past events and how we needed to act in our future to keep up our living standards.
Our delayed return environment strongly influences our modern lives. We face lots of uncertainties every day, and being worried and overthinking is part of our nature.
But is there a way to get out of this vicious cycle?
Indeed, we cannot delete all negative feelings from our minds, which shouldn’t be the goal. But there are valuable tools that can help you to free your mind from harmful thoughts and use them as a tool for growth.
Here are my suggestions.
